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Like sexual desire, the concept of feminism itself is not black and white. We police ourselves in so many areas of our lives — maybe sex is the one place where we want to be able to let go. "Being willing to push some limits actually makes me feel very powerful sexually, even if I am in the submissive role," says Lucy*, 28, an actress from Brooklyn. "I don't think I could ever have a long-term or life partner who wasn't into it. It just excites me too much, and I'd never want to give it up." And ultimately, isn't being empowered to do what you want — even when it isn't what you feel is expected of you as a strong, self-possessed woman — what good sex is all about?